Sight

I could tell you about how there was trash everywhere you went, that hand sanitation there was quite absent, how children ran around with no shoes or garments on, or what the hospital scene lacked as a health care organization. I will try to paint those pictures, but I also want to express how colorful Haiti was with the beyond beautiful mountain skylines, breathtaking ocean deep blue colors, Haitian bright art on the every buses, and the inspiring smiles of the Haitian people.

I will tell you that I went through shock when I first landed in Port-au-prince. I saw poverty more than I ever have. I saw trash everywhere on the streets, the smell was overbearing and I remember tasting dust consistently. The people seemed to be aware of the traffic while crossing the street, but more daring than I ever would be crossing the street with that kind of driving. Houses were made of tin or bed sheets and were smaller than an average bathroom. As we drove from Port-au-Prince to PetitGoave, many Haitians were selling water, bread, toilet paper, and any basic item one could think of being in a convenient store.  I rarely saw soap anywhere we went. We went to the Haiti’s National Museum and afterwards I used the facilities, I thought out of all places there would be soap here, but no, not a single drop of soap did I find. We went to visit the diocese and still no soap. I as a nurse was a little disgusted.

This is how the Haitian population lived every day. No clean water, no clean soap, so how are they supposed to stop their illnesses? The number one question asked in nursing school was always: "What is the number one rule in saving lives?" And the answer would be “to wash your hands.”

Being in Haiti and seeing the lack of resources, made my trip very difficult at times. It was difficult to overlook this part of the culture for me due to my background. I then directed my focuses on the beauty of the land and the people. Hospitality came as a second nature to them. The Haitians treated us with love and compassion. The Haitians continued to shine their light of how little they needed to be happy and to bring to joy to others around them. For instance, we bought Haitian music while we were down there at the local market. One of the men, Willy, at the school retrieved a boom box from a friend in town and that night we all were dancing in the schoolyard. The Haitian dance
reminded me of a slow salsa. While Ellen and I were learning these dances, our laughter carried out to the rest of the Petit-Goave and our smiles shone to the friends we had made in our stay.

While I was in Haiti, my body and soul had been sculpted into something new. My foundation was the same, but a few changes had been made. I came to Haiti and saw the devastation, but I also saw Haiti in a new shade than most people portray Haiti to be. It is so easy to visualize a place, but I never really knew the true colors. Haiti may lack a few colors, for instance: soap, but it does not lack the most important color of all: love.

“Take the time to stop and smell the roses.”

Everyone has heard this saying. Now I want you to stop and close your eyes.  Breathe.  Breathe in and out. Notice what you smell. Is it clean air? Is it a foul odor? Is it familiar to you? Do you smell a sweet aroma?
There are so many different scents that we inhale on a regular basis. Before going to Haiti, I really did not pay much attention to them. While in Haiti, I took the time to notice the different scents of the country, a new part of the world for me.

When I arrived, I noticed the aromas in the air were different. I have lived in the city for almost 3 years now, but the smells were nothing to compare to St. Louis. In Port-au-Prince there was a mix of dust and smog. Once I reached Petit-Goave, the odor changed to a more refreshing smell with a hint of dust. Even though I could smell similarities between United States and Haiti, there was still a difference. While driving from Port-au-Prince to Petit-Goave, the smell of mangos hit my nose and the smell of barbeque made my mouth water. Although there were new smells at the beginning of the trip, towards the end I felt whole with the smells.

Ellen and I had chosen to not shower while we stayed for 8 days in Haiti. We had no real idea if the kids took showers or really had the opportunity to use clean water to do so. As we stayed in Haiti, we used baby wipes, but our distinct foul smell continued to grown over the next day and then the day after that until we arrived back in St. Louis. At the beginning of the week, not showering seemed to be an obstacle. By the end of the week, the absence of showering had become part of our daily lives in Haiti. The absence of showers to us is similar to their absence of clean drinking clean water and better quality of life due to lack of clean water.

Our own scent had changed like our minds and spirits had while we were there in the presence of God’s people. My perspective on the use of water changed as I lived in Haiti for a little over a week. Clean water has a distinct smell, but that smell was limited in the Haiti world.  I realized how much we waste clean water, and we are not even aware of it. From an outsider’s perspective, choosing the absence of showering must seem bizarre, or maybe even irrational. Here Ellen and I are in a tropical area, sweating more than the winter season back in St. Louis. From an outsider’s perspective, we were around disease a majority of the day. We made ourselves vulnerable while we were there, but we knew this before going to Haiti. Sometimes in life, we become numb in our routines. We are lucky when we run into a wall to wake us up, and makes our vision clearer. Even in Haiti, this numbness to our routine existed, but in a different and new way. Change is difficult for anyone, but we all know it must start from within. So coming from the United States and going to Haiti, we didn’t go to change their ways, but we came for them to help guide us in ours.

Touch

Haiti has touched my soul forever and I hope I have left a stamp in the Haitian’s hearts I met. On a normal day at work, I go in with the mindset that I am going to touch patients’ lives, I am going to make an impact whether small or large that hopefully stays with them. Not necessarily that they remember my name, but more that they remember my actions towards them. I hope that they take away how I cared for them with my actions in a vulnerable time of their life due to their sickness. That is the kind of mindset I went when traveling to Haiti. I went to Haiti with the desire to be changed and for the better. There is no way of really describing everything that happened there in words, but I will try to do my best to paint how I felt throughout this pilgrimage.

The children at Ecole de L’enfant Jesus were always loving. At recess, children took my hand in theirs and took me to play games. First it was jump rope, then it was running and next it was tennis in a hallway. But the most important part is that the children took my hand. They reached out to me and I received their love. It was so accepting, like any other child. Even though language and cultural barriers were present, neither one of us let that stop us from trying to reach out to each other. We attempted to communicate by demonstration and by the few words we knew of each other’s language. Even though there were many barriers, the point is there was effort on each side. We tried to understand each other.

Every day the children were in school, there was one particular kid that would reach out and help me. He had to be around 7 years of age at least. The child would see that I was struggling to carry the three items in my hands and he would reach out to help me. No words were exchanged, but a smile of thank you. The other times the child would grab my hand not to take me anywhere, but to simply hold my hand. It was as if no communication was necessary. A simple touch was all that was needed.

Something so small is overlooked by most individuals. God shows us love in so many ways and sometimes we are too caught up in the chaos to realize that life is about the simple moments. I will never truly know what all the natural disasters and daily dangers these kids have experienced actually feel like. What I do know is that when I was there, I was open to their lifestyles and that I chose to be in the moment. This is the stamp they left on my heart. I pray that I left a similar stamp on their hearts.

Join us this Holy Week...

A message from Fr. Vidal

Greetings to one and all.  Some of you are aware that March 4-11, 2013 I visit Servants of Mary Center, Child Jesus School, Petit-Goave, Haiti.  On this trip, I was accompanied by two young adults from St. Louis, Missouri:  Ellen Schroeder and Grace Kenny, who wanted to share their time, talent, and faith with the children and staff of Child Jesus School.  Ellen is a student of art therapy.  Grace is a nurse at Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis.  Both have had experiences before in participating in other outreach program to the poor, the needy, the forgotten, and so forth.  This was a wonderful experience for them, for me, for Fr. Magloire, for all the staff who got to know them, and for the children with whom they spent fruitful time and experiences.  We are grateful for their visit to Child Jesus School.  We hope this will inspire others to come and visit and share of your time and talent and faith with the children, the staff, the parents.

You will find here some pictures and reflections of Grace and Ellen and the children, on one of the many occasions that they encountered and enjoyed each other.  Please continue to support our efforts to provide an education to the children of Child Jesus School.  Whatever donation or contribution you are able to make will be greatly appreciated.

Send your donations to:  SERVANTS OF MARY

Send your donations to:  SERVANTS OF MARY

                                                  ATTN: FR. VIDAL MARTINEZ,OSM

                                                 SERVITE PROVINCIAL CENTER

                                                 3121 W JACKSON BLVD

                                                 CHICAGO IL 60612-2729

 

In advance, we thank you for your kindness and generosity.  We can provide you with a list of projects or items that the school needs to better serve the children: e.g., screens on the windows, ceiling fans, solar panels, desks and cabinets for teachers, microwave oven, blender, and other appliances for kitchen, etc.  Please send your email requests to: osmsecular@aol.com, Fr. Vidal Martínez,OSM.

 

Fr. Vidal Martínez,OSM 

 

for all that will be, wi-- Monday, March 11

 

For all the has been, Mesi (thank you).  For all that will be, Wi (yes!)

Could you be here, Jesus, in the unsightly trash and muddied water?  Could you be here, in the children with no clothes, in the eyes of longing, and rough hands, could you be here?

 Could you be here, Jesus, in the flow of Haiti time?  Could you be in the singing and dancing, in the mountains, and the sun, and the beach?  Could you be in the car accident on the side of the road, in the fwi-fruit- and in the fish?

  Could you be in the learning of a new language, a new game, a new dance?  Could you be in the classrooms with only chalkboards and a few long wooden desks?

Could you be here, in the tears shed, listening to a companion's story, in the exchange of artwork, or in saying goodbye at the airport?

 YES!  you are here, there is no question.  There is singing at the airport, too, there is warm air all around, there are smiles on their faces.  Yes you are here. 

Give us your heart.  Wash us with Love.  Help us to believe more fully in your great love for us, so that we might imitate your little way each day... building up the kingdom, day by day... moment by moment, word by word, movement by movement, breath by breath. 

  i love you haiti! M'ap sonje ou! I will miss you!

Washed by Love-- Sunday, March 10th

“Washed by love—I shall pour clean water over you and you shall be cleansed…I shall cleanse you of all your filth and of all your foul idols.  I shall give you a new spirit in you… I shall remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh instead.  For example, I tried hard to enjoy being splashed by my sister… I can only offer very little things to God… but I often let the chances of making them slip by.  However, it does not discourage me.  I put up with having a little less peace, and try to be more careful the next time.” St Therese

Pictures of love, saying goodbyes, after Mass today:

Daily Practice-- Saturday, March 9

“The truly poor are happy—I used to think I was detached from everything, but now… I realize how imperfect I am.  If I ask for something, I am only acting like the poor, who hold out their hand and are not surprised if they are refused because nobody owes them anything.  What peace floods a soul when it soars above natural feelings! The joy of the truly poor in spirit is beyond all compare” St.Therese

Jwi kounye a  -- enjoy now!  Joy in the day. 

We wanted to continue working today, but they wouldn’t let us-- for it was the weekend.  Instead, we were nudged to simply enjoy ourselves and their company. 

Persistence in Prayer-- Friday, March 8

“Prayer uplifts the world… we will run, indeed, all of us, for souls on fire with love cannot remain inactive…. Prayer enkindles the fire of love.  Though I have only these brothers and sisters, my days are not long enough to detail all their needs, and I would probably forget something really important… Jesus taught me this simple method:  it is quite enough to say simply: Draw me… by the very fact of being drawn to you herself, she draws all the souls she loves after her.” St. Therese

Grace and I are struck today by the need to be persistent in our prayer.  We have started to become attached to the new zamni-- friends-- we have made here, and we pledge to keep up our daily prayers for this little school and all who grace its' walls.  Our 25th year on earth, we dedicate a prayer a day for all those we meet this week.  

Yet, it doesn't seem enough.  The barriers are many, the politics confusing, the history hard to hear, the work seemingly too much.  There is still only one Rose window in the Cathedral in Port-au-Prince.

 

So, we learn from Therese that it is enough.  It is enough simply to be drawn close to to fire of love ourselves.  From there, we cannot help but bring everyone else along with us.  Sak Pase?  (What's up?)  N'ap boule!  (literally-- We're burning!).  We teach the kids, This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!  All around Petit-Goave, we're gonna let it shine!

  
 

The songs of prayer we hear once again at the shelter for the poor today-- We are convinced they are what makes the world go around.  Their raw, powerful praises remind us we are in the Lenten journey of renewal--- God can and does make all things new.  

Tranquil Trust-- Thursday, March 7

“Our God, our heart’s guest knows it well, so He comes within us in the intent of finding a dwelling place, and empty tent, in the midst of the world’s battlefield… he asks no more than that… how great a soul must be to be able to contain a God!” St. Therese

 We are planting the seeds that one day will grow into the kingdom. We are inspired by the drawing a child gave us, and we design the gate painting from this drawing.  Truly, these children are the kingdom of God-- "Timoun yo se avni peyi nou"-- a new Haitian phrase I learned-- Children are the future of our country. 

 We trust that if we plant the seeds today... if we continue to care for the garden, watering, and tilling as it needs, that this little act will bear much fruit.  We find our new Haitian friends express this quite simply, as "Si Dye vle!"  If God wants!  We offer up our broken lives, our broken moments, to God, trusting that He will make it into a beautiful garden that he delights in.  We walk with our hearts held high, for we truly walk together. 

Mario, one of the teachers, shares his artwork with us as gifts:  

 

And I create a couple paintings in response to my time in Haiti:

Bold Confidence-- Wednesday, March 6

“I was launched full sail on upon that sea of confidence and love which had attracted me so much, but on which I had never dared to set out.  He told me my faults did not cause God sorrow, and added that God is very satisfied with my soul.” St. Therese.

As we pilgrim around the town of Petit-Goave this afternoon, we stop in the road for the trumpet-led funeral procession, we chant the rosary with friends at the St. Jean Shelter for the Poor, and we come back to the school to find the friends of Jesus singing—each of them bringing their own chair, and each singing from their soul.  We dance in the rain tonight…  once again, song and dance, are breaking down barriers.

 

 We are honored to hear and witness an account of the day of the hurricane three years ago.  As Jean shares about the day that all Haiti went dark, we cry with him.  We cannot begin to comprehend the disaster that left so many without family, friends, and home.  He tells us the song of Haiti during that time became, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus."  There simply were no other words.  

 

We are touched by the bold confidence that these friends of ours, have continued their journey of trust as they travel through the struggles of this life.  We are reminded that no matter what may come, we offer it up to Jesus:  "Mesi, mesi, mesi, Papa, jodia en pou tou tan"  Thank you, thank you, thank you, Papa, today and for all time.

We are filled with confidence that God could be this good.  God certainly rewards us simply for letting him reward us.  Story by story, person by person, God is creating all of us to be people that are capable of trust, presence, and unveiled faces, reflecting like mirrors the brightness of the Lord.  

Joyful Humility-- Tuesday, March 5th

“It is Jesus who does everything in me; I do nothing except remain little and weak.”  St. Therese

We woke up an hour early today (set our watch too many hours ahead) and so had our first lesson in joyful humility by wandering around the grounds, trying to communicate, but mostly just being able to smile and laugh and sit joyfully, until Fr. Vidal got up and was able to translate a little better.  Our first nicknames came from this extra time, though.  Willy and I were able to communicate about domni (sleep) and somehow it was determined that Grace was a snorer—ronfle-- which wasn't really true, but she graciously accepted the nickname the rest of the week.  We also learn, for the rest of the week, to just rely on the roosters to wake us up, following the rhythm of Haiti time, rather than our failed attempts to be "on time." 

When we really reflect on joyful humility, though, it is the children who we meet in the morning, that teach us what it is all about.  Today, and every day, they march to school, peer around the hallways, just to share with us a "hello, how are you?", or a game of clapping hands, or a smile for a picture, or their favorite candy, dousmakos.  

 We are also grateful to the teachers--Raynold, Michelle, Rosela, Raymonde, Mario, and Malabar-- at the school, for letting us come into their classrooms, and share some of our passions with them.  We see the teachers' own passions, and are so inspired by their ability to teach this joyful spirit to the kids.  

This is so apparent on days when all the kids are assembled together, and all of sudden, the teachers are encouraging each child to share a talent-- song, dance, or poetry-- for an impromptu talent show.  We are caught up in the joy and can't help but smile and sing along.  Jodia nou kontan lagras bondye avek nou!!  Today we are happy because God is with us!

Travel Day-- Monday, March 4th

“Little by little, through the preparation of this trip, I concluded that the two of you did not decide to go to Haiti.  The two of you are merely answering God's invitation to walk closer with Him. God has been providing with all you need and will continue to do so. Therefore, go in peace, trust and listen to God's voice as you have been doing. Keep yourself focused in the things you need to prepare and prayers.

My wish is that your time in Haiti will liberate you to live your life here in freedom. That you will be able to see beyond the physical sufferings and see the beauty, simplicity & joy they have in their hearts. That you will be changed inside. That through them, you will see your own true beauty.”— words of blessing from our good friend, sister, and mentor Susi

 

God is indeed good.  We get up at 4am in St. Louis, soar above twinkling lights and vast waters, and by sundown that night, we are riding in the taxi prepared for us, travelling through marshes and mountains, looking for the Child Jesus school in Petit-Goave.  Not all goes according to our plans, but, sure enough, we arrive safely, and are greeted warmly by our companions--

 

 

--Fr. Magloire, Theodore, Jean Wener, Willy, Marcel, Cadneer, and others--who we will grow to know and love throughout the week, with a multitude of stars blanketing the sky overhead.  Could you be here, Jesus, in this little town, at this little school?